Archive for February, 2009

no matter how much we understand, no matter how much control we are able to exert upon our bodies, upon the biological processes, sometimes the body just will no cooperate.

On monday, my uncle Bob, my mothers older brother, went into surgery for fairly routine heart surgery. when they opened him up, everything was not as bad as they had originally thought and proceeded to do the aortic valve replacement.
His heart wouldn’t start on its own, and wouldn’t stay going, and there was bleeding around the valve. they put him on a heart and lung machine and let his heart rest, removed the valve and put in a different type that would hold more securely. he was on the heart&lung until yesterday morning when they put him on (put in?) an artificial heart and got him on the transplant list. his heart started on it’s own, but was neither strong nor steady. the art. heart was having problems syncing with his body(?) and he was leaking around the valve again and the situation wasn’t looking good until about midnight last night when the doctors thought he would be okay…
then at three this morning his body gave out and his lungs filled with liquid beyond what the doctors could control.

I feel for my aunt who has never been alone.
I can’t imagine losing one of my siblings.
I don’t know how my cousin will explain to his four young children who lost their best friend.

I haven’t cried.